This will probably come up later on, so I thought that maybe it would be a good idea to share my views on love and sex. I will put the disclaimer here, I am going to talk about sex, so if you don't want to know, please stop reading here and close your browser.
I do not personally believe that love and sex go together. For all intensive purposes, I do not believe that emotion and sex go together. I do not have to care about or even like a person to want to have sex with them; it is just another activity. I do not believe that when you have sex you are giving part of yourself to someone. There are times when you are giving yourself, but for me most of the time I am not, I'm just getting off. I will talk more later about giving yourself.
If I find someone attractive and I want to sleep with them it has nothing to do with my emotion connection with them; I have slept with people I despise and had some of the best sex. What does this have to do with being a mother, since that is what this blog is mostly about? I have a philosophy about sex and Peanut. If I am going to sleep with someone that I am not in an emotional relationship with, the baby is not there. Or at the very least is asleep in a different room. I do not want to skew his ideas about what healthy relationships and sex lives look like. Mine got distorted when I was a young teenager and started dating older guys. I keep my sex life away from him.
I have a philosophy about the people that I sleep with; if I just want to fuck and not go anywhere else but that, I will not do it if I don't think that the other person can has sex with me without getting attached. Virgins are always out of the picture, I cant take responsibility for them. Most of my partners are people that I still have relationships with to this day, that is because it is fairly rare that I find someone that is on the same page as I am. A few times I have slept with a former lover that I no longer had any sore of feelings for and that almost always ends up in a huge mess. I do have emotional attachments to most of my partners and former partners, but they are not a result of sex and sex was not a result of the relationships.
So what about making love? That is an entirely different thing. If you are making love you do have a very strong emotional attachment to your partner. That is not to say that you are in love with the person, but you probably love the person you are making love with. I have only made love a few times.
Then there is one more distinction: sex as magic. Sex is one of the single most effective ways to raise energy. Now, since I have written this I should probably cover religion really fast. I consider myself a Pagan, so that may or may not come up again. Back to magic. Sex is very powerful, but do not try to do sex magic if both partners are not on the same page. And both should have at least some experience with what you are trying to do. Things can quickly go badly if you are not careful.
I am thinking that I might write my next post about love, because it is a very important thing also. Thanks for reading guys.
Swt
I love you. I don't necessarily get you, but I love you. We don't see eye to eye on this, because we are radically different people. We do relationships differently, plain and simple. I just want to get this out in the open in case you think otherwise: I do not think any less of you, because of the way you view sex and love. I don't judge you, because I don't want you judging me. One of these days I may just have to write a post about my views on sex. It will take my readers by surprise, but I think it would be good to get my views out there. Love you!
ReplyDelete-The Bestie
I completely understand and stand by this statement (with the exception of the magic part because I'm unfamiliar with it). The worst is when you have sex with someone under the agreement this is *only* sex and they get all attached. Awkward.
ReplyDeleteAlso? I find sex is less about getting off (let's face it, I can do that solo) and more about the whole hormonal reaction of it all. It's a mood elevator. Sure, so is an orgasm, but the skin on skin and adrenaline rush of sex definitely raises certain hormone levels. Those hormones make you happy. Which (conveniently) explains why when I'm low I used to find myself screwing someone for the sake of feeling better. (Now I pretty much get laid on a regular basis so that's not an issue but Oh My Gawd I had many a "dry" spells.)
I can't wait to see what you think about love because I only recently started believing in that one. (It was formerly as fake as Santa to me.)